I remember 8 years ago I got really into the world cup. I think I was a sophomore in high school and I had nothing better to do at 2 a.m. than to watch soccer and put on a Scottish accent. Why was I putting on a Scottish accent? Well I don't know, but it was adding something to my mindset and experience, which in turn actually boosted my interest. It's like if you are driving a tractor, you're gonna wanna blast some country music. I don't like country, but hell if I'm driving a John Deere 4 speed, you bet your ass I'm humming some Clay Walker. Still, it amazes me how many people all of a sudden are chatting up the World Cup like they know shit about the sport. I mean there is plenty of soccer played in the time between cups, yet no one talks about it then. Then again, who gives a fuck about track and field when its not an Olympic year? Oh well, all of sudden chicks are dressing up in little soccer gear and I'm not gonna argue with that.
Man, you would think George Washington was out there playing against General Cornwallace a few days ago. Definitely cool that the US was put in the same group as England and they played for the first time since like 1950. The US managed to make it a tied game when England goalkeeper Robert Green let the ball slip past his hands and into the goal. The game ended in a 1-1 tie, and one can only hope that a second match is in store. US-England has that good buddy-buddy relationship, eventhough we should hate each other. I mean we had that initial American Revolution thing, and then we stole The Beatles, and got John Lennon killed. We saved their ass in World War I and II, then they accompanied us to Iraq. It's like when Rocky and Apollo Creed became friends, until Dolph Lundgren killed Apollo. F'in Russia.
As I mentioned the US-England game ended in a tie, although it would have been nice to see an OT. I think its only the opening round that doesn't have OT, but its some bullshit man. Seems like its been mostly ties so far and its getting gay. That and like 1-0 games. I stand by the field is too damn big, which isn't helping anyone get goals.
I understand the all the African countries love blowing on those vuvuzelas, but its pretty fuckin annoying. If you're wondering vuvuzelas are those flute things creating all that noise that sounds like a swarm of bees. It hasn't made it unwatchable, but its just fuckin stupid. I like when the European countries have their loud chants in the crowd. That's fun to listen to. Not fuckin bee sounds. I hate bees, everyone hates bees. You hear that shit and you just wanna hide. So now I guess they are filtering out some of that sound from the crowd, which just makes it sound like the crowd is quiet as fuck. I like hearing a lot of crowd sound when I watch sports. Makes you think people actually care about the sport, or at the least are drunk as hell.
5. Oh great, North Korea showed up
I understand that its a sporting event and there shouldn't be any political ties, but damn dude its fuckin North Korea. First of all, if they win Kim Jong Il is gonna be all asshole-like and shit on everyone's faces. Imagine if we play them. The loser is gonna get pissed off and nuke the other. Over fuckin soccer. Oh joy. UPDATE: It turns out North Korea hired Chinese people to stand in the crowd and wear North Korea gear. Nice.
6. Good thing Magic Johnson isn't there
I noticed that a player for England got a bloody lip, so they made him leave the field. I'm not trying to say that everyone gets AIDS in Africa if they have open cuts, but perhaps I'm hinting at it. Might even be fair to say the World Cup officials are hinting at it. I mean if you're that much of a pussy that you can't let a guy play cuz of a bloody lip, then perhaps you'll get the AIDS from all the gay butt sex you're having... I need an off switch sometimes.
7. Doesn't Brazil win every other time anyway?
If I recall correctly, Italy won in 2006. And I think Brazil won in 2002. Based off no facts at all, it seems to me like Brazil wins every other tournament, so what's to make me think they won't win this year? Its also weird to me how Brazil is starting a slow takeover in sports. I mean everyone knows they are awesome at futbol, but they have also started dominating in MMA. They are getting decent at basketball too. I'll be concerned when there is a Ronaldo in the NHL.
8. Who the fuck do I root for?
Obviously I am rooting for the US for now, but history says they aren't gonna win the tournament. We are making strides toward being an elite team in soccer, but I don't think we are there yet. So let's say the U.S. gets eliminated in the second or third round, who should I cheer for? I think a lot of people have a tendency to root for their ethnic backgrounds at that point. In that case I'd cheer for Germany and England. Two very good teams. Or do you cheer for an underdog team? Perhaps a home country team? Well I can barely distinguish between the African teams. Cameroon, Ghana, Ivory Coast. Same shit. And South Africa, well... fuck em.
For years other countries have been taking advantage of the fact that Americans generally don't flop. Seriously, I'd like to go 5 minutes without seeing a soccer player get barely nudged and then rolls around on the ground holding their knee. God dude, the soccer world is full of actors apparently. I'm not so sure Bob Deniro could sell a knee injury so hard. You don't see that in any American sport...except basketball, but I'm not defending those damn vag stains.
10. My random pick: Portugal
Well Portugal is almost like Brazil. They both speak Portuguese. They have a Ronaldo. Sounds like a winning combination to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment